What shall I name thee, little one?

[I wish I could cry like I did once
When mom lost a promised pencil
On her way to school to take us.
For days, I couldn't be happy enough
I couldn't get rid of that weight
Squeezing like a tube - my belly.]

I have a small lump
The forbidden apple stuck
Somewhere, here.
A little tugging
Of a corner of my heart
There, where she hides -
My kindergarten spirit
Sad, having lost -
A favorite toy.

We missed seeing the Bronx Zoo,
But at over a score,
I think I'm grown up enough...
Huh! (and she smiles weariedly)
I know I'm grown up enough...
Inside, to be able to read
The blankness of the canvas -
Of little joys and losses
That mattered too much.

And this loss is greater
To my dying soul
The loss of losing a loss
A cherished loss.

Today's blue sunset
I dedicate
To the dreamy little girl
With a fountain in a love-in-tokyo
An altered royal blue frock
And a sea of hopes.


Feb 15th, 2009.