Solitude

In a stuporous daze
I open half a hollow eye,
among noon voices and sounds
clamoring narcissistically.

Silence speaks softly,
its lilting voice echoing
off bare walls to my
ears mechanically.

Folding a yawn I drag
unshod feet,
disregarding the babbling silence.
And walk out oblivious,
accompanying myself…

…into a boisterous world
blithely ignorant
of a self-bred ingrate “nothing”
encroaching stealthily
effacing itself.

Oct 23rd, ’08.

Poverty

Poverty bleats
like a lamb
boldly stalked –
by the big bad wolf.

Beseeches feebly,
hematite marbles
nailed, unrelenting –
at I, the shepherd.

Gorgon-gazed
helplessly, I wrestle
to contain –
this troubling emotion.

Why, this shepherdry,
just I, endorse?
This blame –
acknowledge, sole me?

Licking flames
orange-red, rise
charring clamorously –
my perplexity, hurt, all.

Poverty shrieks
like a banshee
fore running Reapers –
harvesters, of shepherds.


Oct 17th - 20th, ’08.

Desert rose

I am sad today
Though
I was happy yesterday

You want not to see me, the mirror.
I want not to reflect myself, from me.

I am hurt and moaning.
I want not, for you
to feel yourself,
in me, the mirror.
I want the pretence to be put up long, long… of feigned happiness.

Oct 24th, ‘08.

Tomorro is Another Day

“He is dead, but my heart is not broken,
Do you think it wicked of me?”

Wicked, perchance, but oh, oh!

That this confession could possibly imply
that your brimful, heart-shaped heart
has spilt and made room - a little tepid corner,
for long a waiting groveling sojourner!

That crawling on my knees – all fours
I can climb those precipitous, flesh walls
and dive breathless, into that warm spice-laden sea!

That your innocent heart-cleaving admission,
unknowing, admits me!
.
.
.
But what in this entire hullabaloo, heart, of ignorant naïve you?
What of that shifty assassin you harbor, heart, – cloaked guilt?

O where, heart, will you hide, seeking refuge from yourself?
How far, heart, will you run, on tiny unaccustomed cat-feet?

Saunter in shadows, forever you shall…
Where wistfully I’ll grope.
Groping, catching
whiffs of you
slowly I shall desiccate.
Smothered painless, unawares
in perfume of your smell!

Oct 14th and 16th, ’08.

I am Happy Again

I am Happy Again

I am happy again,
for some discrete,
countable minutes...
.
.
.
till leaden,
of a sudden,
my weathered heart
sinks?
nay, gravitates...
into my hollow belly.
On Jupiter?
I pull up hard,
God! to stand.

Never a smile
walks far enough,
so to carve transitory crow-feet
beside my glazed eyes.

My cracking verses
fracture
splutter
unrhymed -
shards scatter,
(brittle hand-blown glass);
pearls strew,
(jerked off necklace).

That cold icy hand
wrings my heart again,
In extremis
gasping
I whimper...

He is so so deaf
Or I, so so mute!

Another merry moment
soars
on bleeding wings
to its apotheosis...

How, I miss him!

Oct 9th, '08.


I qualified as principal candidate...

History Lesson

Were it for History and the Stoics....

I would but wait one night, moonless blue
just one night;
to walk beside you, starry.
I would but clasp once, your calloused hands
just this once;
to smell their warmth, mahogany.

I dream not a puny farthing more,
even a farthing;
History bridles with dreamproof reins.
I do not to, this little joy, comply
even this joy;
Stoic school snuggles pruned bowers.

....We would be

Sep 23rd and Oct 6th, '08.

Gaston

Speak on,
Ye All,
of Philosophies
Great Questions
Paradoxes
Enormities.

let me squat
(toss few dimes)
unshod
here, by the wayside.

i have seen men,
enough,
with my simple eyes.

Oct 6, '08.

Sneaky Cheat

Wor-rds
topple out
brro-roken
jagged...
blurr-rippetty

My past feigns,
it has left,
left me well alone...

Sneaky cheat -
waits
in corners
to come at me
unawares...

It loves to see me,
skip a beat,
turn ashen,
lower my gaze.

Shifty rook -
boos
in company
from behind
cupped palms...

It gloats when I,
squirm with unease,
lose composure,
struggle to speak.

Slinky fibber -
clings
to my satchel
like Velcro
with long arms.

Ambushed,
I -
discomfited,
Stand ground;
chagrined,
Never abscond.

Oct 2, '08.