New Age Sun

In the gathering gloom
Darkness drips from our clouded sky
Grey drops turn to swirling mists
Engulfing.
Haunting ghosts garb me, dark grey.

Can you see your hands?
I cannot find my face
We are blinded.

An icy chill creeps up my legs
Frozen fingers find my heart
Wring it in their freezing grasp
Pulseless.
Blood clots in ropes in my veins.

Can you feel your heart?
I cannot hear mine beat.
We are frozen.

A darker shade of black
This moonless night must be,
We must wade this tar together
Stoically.
Pray, O new age sun, rise.


Sep 7th, '08.

On Joy

When next I write
They asked me to speak of happiness,
In the passion of my lines
To reverberate joy,
In the piercing intensity of my words
To echo ecstasy.

And as I smile
My muse sniggers,
"May I take a nap?".


August 31st, '08

Autumn Rain

Incipient trickle of memories,
Slow creepers, stranglers, mistletoe.

Tiny barbs, cold steel
Pin-pricks of Autumn rain
Strive to awaken in me
A young woman
A forgotten self
A memory.

She who dreamed
Of quiet peace
Cottage beside a lake
Tiny happy universe.

She, the dreamer
She, the naivette
She, the deceived.


From cargo jettisoned once,
All that the rain could salvage:

Incipient trickle of tears
Slow creepers, stranglers, mistletoe.


August 31st, '08.

We Don't Die Easy

We don't die easy
Like sunbeams,
at sunset.
Like an ant,
crushed.

We're slow,
lazy even here,
at dying.
We beckon it,
death.
It dallies,
drags its feet,
turns away,
returns,
retreats,
relishing each moment,
of our waiting.

We don't die easy.
We, the forsaken.
Salvation,
forbidden on us.
Ripped from our bodies,
we wander,
abandoned,
begging the sands,
to carry us,
beseeching the winds,
to blow us,
to some haven.

We don't die easy.
Like dreams,
in a moment.
Like a vase,
broken.

We crumble,
bit by bit,
like civilizations,
at the mercy of time.
We decay,
flesh by flesh,
like rotting logs,
at the hands of saprophytes.
We don't die easy...

Yet counts that less,
than what it breeds.
Yes hurts that less,
than what it spawns...

We can't live easy.

- Aug 12th, '08.


But to the dead,
does it matter?
That the dying -
die slow?
Do they recall it?
the pain -
of not dying easy?
Can they feel it?
the hurt -
of not living easy?
Why wonder?

The pain -
the goddamned pain,
of not living easy...
We, the living.
We wonder not,
for curiosity,
but for hope,
of deliverance.
Long-sought Eden.
At long last, succour.
Life,
or Death!

- Aug 13th, '08.


Helpless,
hopeless,
we gnaw at our fingers,
claw out our eyes,
plead...

We still don't die easy.

- Aug 17th, '08

View Through The Window

View Through The Window

(A sick child looks at the moon on a cloudy night.)

Vehicle of light,
I voyage the moon.
Brilliant, a-lighting the night.
A sea of foamy nimbus, I'm crossing soon,
A-stir, a-rippled by rudders of light!

Somewhere below, she watches waiting
Past barred windows, deep in the night
Lone alone, for my chariot of light.

The ocean traversed, I drop no anchor
Ashore I fly, above the sky
I have no care, I'm soaring high!

Long she longs,
Longs she long...

Jubilant I,
She soon to die!

The Rainbow

The Rainbow

In a spatter, like a have-to-do errand, it fell
Rain, at the feet of a begrudging cloud grumble

Amidst the last condensing drops,there peeped
Two rising sunbeams in an incoherent mumble

For a moment, the briefest of moments, I imagined
I could see it arching gracefully, a long-sought rainbow

All seven shades, shimmering like yards of silk
Over sector 1, the Major's mansion, the extension - jubilant in a row

The moment passed, in all its auspicious brevity
Lugging, dragging - its shades, two pots of gold

I thought i saw a rainbow - I didn't
I didn't even wish it much- I'm told

Yet a rainbow came; came, but late
A hope I was destined not to see
It showered free, its gold on all
None was meant for me

Perhaps I was too impatient; resigned perchance
So inured; no more, could I let me hope for hope
The conning rainbow conspired perchance
Hiding camouflaged, till I departed to mope

Which is which, I do not know
I only long I'd seen that Rainbow!

How Utter is Loneliness?

How Utter is Loneliness?

How utter is loneliness when
Even the unwelcome persecuting voice,
The "As you sow, so shall you reap"
Is smothered, buried somewhere deep,
Swamped by the resounding echoes
Of one infinite, timeless question...
Why?

When random friends chatter, smile
Say "Best of luck" in a casual way
Send an automated message on your birthday
Oomph on the change in the weather's mood,
Idly comment, " Yeah, life's good",
Yet evade that one overwhelming question...
Why?

When in the deepening dark
The silence of helpless tears
Accosts you with a Goliath bark
When uselessness of calming your fears,
Taps you on the shoulder and asks...
Why?

Clambering onto the choking emptiness of desertion
You grope for shadows in some dreams broken
You hide your swollen eyes in a layer of kohl
From the interrogating gaze of a hypocrite school
Prodding your emptiness with their merciless query...
Why?


Utter is loneliness, yes.
Absolute.
Non-negotiable.

Of the wretched woman deserted,
Clueless, by her platonic lover
And forced by a deceiving nation,
To flaunt a "I'm fine, Thank you" smile.
Hollow, jagged - like an old empty tin,
She laughs often.
A walking zombie, she roams the streets...
A living monument to that one unanswered question:
Why...